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Kidz Korner
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Joke Time:
Brought to you by Bryan & Shane.
(Fourth Class)
Q. Why does a golfer bring two pairs of socks to a golfing match?
A. In case he gets a hole in one!
Q. What biscuit can fly?
A. A plane one!
Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I have 59 seconds to live!
Doctor: Wait a minute!
Q. What did the chocolate bar say to the woman who went on a diet?
A. Long time no see!
Patient: Doctor I feel like a spoon.
Doctor: Sit there and don’t stir!
Teacher: Why were you late for school today?
Boy: I was running until I came to a stop sign and I had to stop!
Dad: Can I have a budgie for my daughter?
Pet Shopkeeper: Sorry, sir, but we don’t do swaps!
Q. Ten people were under one umbrella, but none of them got wet.
How did they do it?
A. It wasn’t raining!
Q. What is the hottest day of the week?
A. Sunday!
Q. What did one traffic light say to the other?
A. Don’t look I’m changing!
Q. What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney?
A. You are too young to be smoking!
Q. What do cannibals eat when they’re on a diet?
A. Skinny people!
Fionn the Cool.
By Aislinn O’ Loughlin
'Fionn the Cool' is a really good book and it is also funny.
It is about a teenage statue of Fionn and Prince Diarmuid which has mysteriously
appeared on O’ Connell Street, Dublin. Saoirse and Cathy and their cousin Stephen
are there and are wondering where it came from when suddenly blue sparks appear
from it and Fionn and Diarmuid become real. They say that Niamh had cast a spell
on them to come to the future. So Stephen takes Fionn and Diarmuid and the two
girls back to his flat to get them something else to wear and to sell their tunics
while they’re there. Fionn goes busking, singing and playing the guitar. During the
rest of the story they meet a boy from the past who had told Niamh that he was going
to bring the two boys back to their own time but he really just wants to kill them
and Diarmuid’s father. Then Cathy remembers a professor who has a time machine. They
all go back to Fionn’s time and Saoirse brings her camcorder to film Cumac fighting
Fionn and Diarmuid. They show it to the king who thinks the world of Cumac and he
promises to be nicer to his own son Diarmuid. Cathy, Saoirse and Stephen go back in
the time machine and talk about the great experience they’ve had.
It is a really good and enjoyable book and I would recommend it for 9 or 10 year
olds and upwards.
By Donna Sheil
12 years
Pugnax and the Princess.
By Dan Kissane.
Prince Pugnax of Porsana had an evil plan. He wanted to marry the beautiful and
rich princess Ricolana. Her father, the King of Wisdom was willing to give his
beautiful daughter away for ‘The Book of Riddles’ which was in the hands of Pugnax.
Ricolana was not very happy with her father but what could she do? With a little bit
of help from a friend, things change. But things don’t always turn out the way we
think they might! I really liked this book because it was funny and I kept wondering
what was going to happen next. I would give it ten out of ten.
By Aisling Daniels.
9 years.
Jimmy’s Leprechaun’s Trap.
By Dan Kissane.
It is about a boy called Jimmy who is a shepherd boy. He sees a leprechaun.
Then he goes back and tells his grandfather who starts to laugh. The next day his
father tries to clear the clochán but doesn’t succeed. The tractor goes into the pond. The next day his mam asks him to get the hen’s eggs from the shed but there are none. In the afternoon there was one and Grandad cracks it and there is a disgusting smell. He sees the leprechaun again and they make a deal. If the leprechaun makes everything right Jimmy has to be his slave forever.
But will he get it right or wrong? You have to read the book and find out!
This is a very good book. It is funny and easy to read.
I would give it ten out of ten.
By Bryan Kenny.
10 years.
Cows are Vegetarians.
By Siobhán Parkinson.
The story is about a girl called Michelle who goes to visit her cousins in the
country. Michelle’s a Dub. That means she is from Dublin and anyone from the
country is called a culchie. She lives with her mother and her grandmother.
The story starts when her mother buys red wellingtons for Michelle. Then she
tells Michelle that she is going to her cousin’s house in the country. Michelle
hates going to the country but it is alright when she gets there. She meets her
cousins Sinead and Dara and her Uncle Sean and Aunty Peggy. Sinead is a “ know
it all”, Dara is a baby and Uncle Sean and Aunty Peggy are really nice. Michelle
thinks cows, like Henry - Uncle Dan’s cow, eat people! Michelle thinks that Larry
the lamb is a pet like a dog or cat. Then during the night she gets a funny feeling
about binging Larry into bed. I wonder how she will put up with it all!
I really enjoyed this book. It was very funny!
By Maeve Cooney
11 years
Seven Spiders Spinning.
By Gregory Maguire.
This is a book review of ‘Seven Spiders Spinning’ by Gregory Maguire. It is about
seven Siberian tarantulas that defrost from ice on their way to a laboratory and
they escape. They fall in love with the Tattletale girls. These girls enter a
Halloween competition against the Copycat boys who are unaware of the seven spiders
who are following them. When they kiss them the spiders actually bite the girls who
try to escape. It’s a good book and I would give it ten out of ten.
I would recommend it for children aged nine plus.
By Shane Farrell
10 years
Lord of the Rings.
By J.R.R. Tolkien..
‘LORD OF THE RINGS’ is a timeless classic.
There are six books in the series but they
comes in three parts:
THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS.
THE TWO TOWERS.
THE RETURN OF THE KING.
Sauron the Dark Lord has gathered to him the ‘Rings of Power’. This means that he
will be able to rule the world. All he lacks in his plan for domination is the
‘Ruling Ring’, which has fallen into the hands of the hobbit, Bilbo Baggins. But
it is Frodo who has to carry out a great task. He must make a perilous journey
across Middle Earth to the Cracks of Doom to destroy the Ruling Ring of Power
thus preventing the Dark Lord, Sauron from ruling the Earth.
I would give this book ten out of ten. It is a very long book but it is worth
reading it to the end. It’s a great book and I have to say that it’s the best
book I’ve ever read.
By Paul Farrell.
12 years.
“Spring sprung some summer sun.”
By Noreena (Second Class)
“Summer sunshine sparkles superbly,
Showers soak Susie,
Summer shall show spectacular surprises!”
By Shannon (Second Class)
Game 1: “Conkers Bad Fur Day”
What’s it about?
After the night of Conkers twenty-first birthday, he gets one of the worst headaches
in history and so begins the most amazing twenty-four hours of his life. He joins
the army, fights the Panther King but sadly he loses Berri his girlfriend.
What’s the best bit?
The best bit has to be when the game imitates ‘The Matrix’, but it also imitates
other top films like ‘Aliens’ and ‘Saving Private Ryan’.
What’s the multiplayer verdict?
Brilliant because you can chose a squirrel soldier, a Tediz, a Frenchy and a weasel.
The different games are Heist, Raptor, Race, Total War, Tank and Beach.
All these multiplayer games and stunning graphics make this game an all-star.
Drim’s Game Chamber rating = 100%.
Game 2: “Super Mario 64”
What’s it about?
Bower has kidnapped Princess Peach again and it’s up to Mario to foil his evil plan
and save Peach and Toad’s friends.
What’s the best bit?
It’s difficult to say what’s the best bit, but for me it has to be turning on the
Nintendo for the first time and seeing Mario’s face in 3D!
Why it rocks?
It rocks because it combines stunning graphics, addictive gameplay and a damsel in
distress. It has twenty-eight levels and Mario’s archenemy Bowers.
Drim’s Game Chamber rating = 99%.
Game 3: “Golden Eye 007”
What’s it about?
You have to stop the Golden Eye satellite going into space and causing trouble.
Why it rocks?
The single player game is brilliant and you’d almost believe that you’re James Bond!
But is also has all the cool weapons you’d expect from the world’s coolest spy.
What’s the multiplayer verdict?
Golden eye is untouchable in four-player mode with graphics and gameplay that will
have you reaching for the replay button again and again and again!
Drim’s Game Chamber rating = 100%
By Rónán Cooney
12 years
Game 4: "P.S. 2" Name: “Metal Gear Solid 2”
What’s it about?
This game is about a secret mission and a lad called Snake who has to change his name
to Raiden. He has to save the president from the bad guys. When he gets to section B
he meets a good guy who is still alive. There is blood scattered everywhere. This lad
starts to smoke and gives the rest of the cigarettes to Raiden. Then they go to the
kitchen in section C. There you meet an old cop who gives each of them a spray to
freeze bombs. This cop knows that it is a man called Fatman who is planting the bombs.
The object of this game is to stop the bombs from exploding and to save the president.
I really liked this game. It is an action type of game and I would rate it
ten out of ten.
By Bryan Kenny.
10 years.
Game 5: “Final Fantasy 7”
There are four discs in ‘Final Fantasy’. The game has brilliant movie and background
graphics. The game play is brilliant and the lifespan of the game is very long.
The main character in the game is ‘Squall Leonhard’. At the beginning of the game you
find yourself in a hospital in a big school where you learn to become a ‘Seed’.
After a while you get to hijack a train, assassinate a ‘sorceress’, fly a spaceship,
and kill monsters and aliens. Last but not least, you can hijack a five-mile high,
three-mile wide floating box packed full of soldiers, monsters and a very powerful
‘sorceress’. It’s one of the best games for the playstation. It’s the best game I’ve
ever played.
I would give it ten out of ten.
By Paul Farrell
12 years.
By Paul, Alana, Kathleen, Craig, Noreena, Rachel, Lorraine in the Junior Classroom.
I am green. Cows eat me. I am in fields. What am I? I am…
I can teach. I am in a classroom. Who am I? I am the…
I have two feet. I can run with them. I can walk with them. I am a…
I deliver presents to children. I have reindeer. I am…
I eat grass. I neigh. People ride me. I am a…
I am reddish brown or grey. I live in a drey. I am a...
I am prickly. I eat slugs and snails. I sleep for the winter. I am a…
I have feathers. I eat insects and seeds. I make a nest. I am a…
I have a trunk. I am very big. I live in Africa and India. I am a…
I say Mass. I tell people about God. I visit the sick. I am a…
(Answers:
Grass, Teacher, Person, Santa, Horse, Squirrel, Hedgehog, Bird,
Elephant, Priest.
Did you get them right? Well done!)